You are the only one who can determine the quality of the life you are living. And not only that, you are also the only one who knows whether of a truth, you are living a better life or not. No matter what people out there are thinking, you are the only one who knows what is happening to you. One of the great enemies of a better life is self deception. There is a saying that even when people are trying to deceive you, it is better not to deceive yourself. This is because self deception is one of the major disservices that you can do to yourself. You definitely know your limit. And knowing your limit helps you to define your capacity.

There are people who are living based on others perception about them; they have not sat down and do a self analysis of their strengths and weaknesses. These set of people are prone to disillusionment and of course, a disillusioned man can never enjoy a quality life. This is because he is not actually living his own life; he is living through the eyes of others. This can be in two ways; a man who is overrated by others would definitely almost go over board to fit into this overrated views and the probability is there for him to get into trouble. He will spend more, do things he is not supposed to do, hang around a particular set of people just to feel among, and at the end, he gets into a deep trouble.

The second sets of people are those that are underrated by others. These people have it in them to achieve more but they have been incapacitated by the views of others. These people would often find themselves rebelling against the society.

Knowing and accepting yourself for who you are is the first step towards living a quality life. Don’t let your life be framed by what others think about you. Live your own life through your own eyes and not the eyes of others. And you can only do this successfully by first loving yourself. Accept yourself and make others find reasons to accept you for who you are. Only then can you talk of living a better and quality life.

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”

– Seneca the Younger

This is a great quote to both contemplate and to apply to your life.

How often do you hear people complain? Pick a topic-love, friendship, careers, etc. The list of issues that people complain about is endless. You and I are no different. Perhaps we don’t complain about each of these things but more than likely there is something that we complain about with great regularity.

Now, sometimes complaints are simply a way to vent some frustration at the moment but we don’t really want anything to change in this area. However, more often than not, someone regularly complains about one specific problem

If I had a dollar for every time I heard one friend complain about the difficulty of finding a good man I could throw her a huge wedding bash or perhaps simply buy her a husband in some small third-world country. When I thought about my friend Donna’s problem and applied Seneca’s quote to it a light bulb suddenly appeared above my head just like in the cartoons!

It was true! Donna is having difficulty finding a good man simply because she isn’t daring enough. Sure she goes out on dates and tries to maintain an active social life, however she holds herself aloof emotionally. She isn’t willing to dare much at all when it comes to her heart-so how can she hope that someone else will do so for her? Sure, there might be someone, somewhere, but she is also missing out on relationships, at least friendships, with some really great guys simply because she is too afraid to dare to care.

That is sad. We all know that love is marvelous but it is also frightening, however we have to take risks in order to experience it fully. Sometimes we might get hurt however more often than not we will find the rewards outweigh the risks. There is no guarantee that is Donna opens herself up and dares to love that she will find the love of her life-however there is certainly a guarantee that a life filled with love is more rewarding than one that is not.

I have another friend who is also afraid to dare. Jeff hates his job. No, that’s not exactly right. He loves the work itself but he really hates the company that he works for. He finds the management very difficult to work for (and if even a small percentage of the stories he tells are true then he’s right, it is a horrible place to work).

However, every time I suggest he look for a job somewhere else he comes up with some excuse about how difficult it would be. True the job market isn’t great, but he’s a skilled worker in a high-demand field so I’m sure he could find something. He’s doomed his job search before he even started it because he’s not daring enough.

It wouldn’t be fair to share my friends’ examples without pointing to my own shortcomings.  Probably the greatest difficulty in my own life is within my marriage and that is simply because I don’t dare enough emotionally there. I have become too complaisant and take my husband and marriage for granted. I need to dare more emotionally.

So think about the difficulties in your own life and apply Seneca’s rule then decide if you can be more daring!  All the best!

Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.

These four simple statements are powerful tools for improving your relationships and your life. As a doctor caring for seriously ill patients for nearly 15 years of emergency medicine practice and more than 25 years in hospice and palliative care, I have taught hundreds of patients who  were facing life’s end, when suffering can be profound, to say the Four Things. But the Four Things apply at any time. Comprising just eleven words, these four short sentences carry the core wisdom of what people who are dying have taught me about what matters most in life.

The Wisdom of Stating the Obvious
Ask a man who is being wheeled into transplant surgery or a woman facing chemotherapy for the third time what’s on his or her mind and the answer will always involve the people they love. Always.

The specter of death reveals our relationships to be our most precious possessions. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve met people in my office, an emergency room, or a hospice program who have expressed deep regret over things they wish they had said before a grandparent, parent, sibling, or friend died. They can’t change what was, but without fail their regrets have fueled a healthy resolve to say what needs to be said before it’s too late – to clear away hurt feelings, to connect in profound ways with the people who mean the most to them.

Everyone knows that all relationships, even the most loving, have occasional rough spots. We assume that the people we love know that we love them, even if we’ve had our disagreements and tense moments. Yet when someone we love dies suddenly, we often have gnawing doubts.

We are all sons or daughters, whether we are six years of age or ninety-six. Even the most loving parent-child relationship can feel forever incomplete if your mother or father dies without having explicitly expressed affection for you or without having acknowledged past tensions.  I’ve learned from my patients and their families about the painful regret that comes from not speaking these most basic feelings.

Again and again, I’ve witnessed the value of stating the obvious. When you love someone, it is never too soon to say “I love you,” or premature to say “Thank you,” “I forgive you,” or “Will you please forgive me?” When there is nothing of profound importance left unsaid, relationships tend to take on an aspect of celebration, as they should.

A deep, natural drive to connect with others lies at the heart of what it means to be human. The Four Things can help you discover opportunities to enliven all your important relationships—with your children, parents, relatives, and close friends. You need not wait until you or someone you love is seriously ill. By taking the time and by caring enough to express forgiveness, gratitude, and affection, you can renew and revitalize your most precious connections.

The Practice of Good-bye
It’s been said that life is a sexually transmitted condition with a terminal prognosis. Having worked for years in close proximity to death, I have come to understand viscerally that we live every moment on the brink. We are, each one of us, at every moment, a heartbeat away from death. Seen against the backdrop of our certain mortality, our differences are dwarfed by our commonality – and the importance we hold for one another.

The stories in The Four Things That Matter Most are drawn from the experiences of people who have stood at death’s door, and from their loved ones who learned to use the Four Things in their own daily lives. These stories inspire us to open to the potential for emotional wholeness at any moment in our lives – even in our most troubled relationships.

When I work with people who are approaching the end of life, I emphasize the value of saying the Four Things and I also encourage them to say good-bye. The Four Things offer essential wisdom for completing a lifelong relationship before a final parting. Thankfully, not all good-byes are final – but good-byes can be meaningful.  It’s important to say good-bye in a way that affirms our relationship and acknowledges our connection to one another.

The word “good-bye” derives from “God be with you,” a blessing that was traditionally given at parting and, in some churches, still is.  The protection and God’s help of presence and guidance can be requested whether two people expect to be separated a few hours or forever. In leaving nothing unsaid, we can recapture this original meaning, so that, in saying good-bye, we are actually blessing one another in our daily interactions as well as when we face major life challenges or crises. It only takes a moment to shift the way you say good-bye from a reflex to a conscious practice. Your good-bye and your blessing can become treasured gifts to other people as you part.

Expanding the Realm of the Possible
Our world is bounded by our imagination. This may sound philosophical, but I mean it in a most practical, tangible sense. Helen Keller once wrote, “Worse than being blind would be to be able to see but not have any vision.” When a formerly cherished relationship is marred by unkindness, bitterness, or betrayal, we may assume that healing is beyond our grasp, but this assumption can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you really want to have such a limitation on your vision for your life?

The extraordinary experiences of the people whose stories I tell in this book demonstrate that healing and wholeness are always possible. Even after years of alienation, of harsh criticism, rejection, or frustration, you can establish – or re-establish – authentic understanding and appreciation of others with the help of the Four Things.

Even as people confront death (their own or others’), they can reach out to express love, gratitude, and forgiveness. When they do, they consistently find that they, and everyone involved, are transformed—for the rest of their life, whether those lives last for decades or just days. Stories and experiences of people who have courageously used the Four Things enlarge our vision and imagination, expanding the realm of the possible for us all.

Restoring Closeness
The Four Things are powerful tools for reconciling the rifts that divide us and restoring the closeness we innately desire.  When bad feelings occur in our close relationships, we tend to put off the work required to make things right. We always assume we’ll have another chance…later. That’s understandable, but it’s a mistake. Feeling resentful toward the people we love, or once loved, feeling distant from them, erodes our own happiness.

A brush with death often instills in us a new found appreciation for the gift of life. Simple pleasures – a cup of tea, sunshine on one’s face, the voices of our children – feel like miracles. When we’ve had a close call that shakes us up, the anger we’ve felt toward people closest to us no longer seems significant. Ill will dissolves in love, appreciation, and affection, and we recognize the urgency of mending, tending, and celebrating our relationships.

Because accidents and sudden illness do happen, it is never too soon to express forgiveness, to say thank you and I love you to the people who have been an integral or intimate part of our lives, and say good-bye as a blessing. These simple words hold essential wisdom for transforming that which matters most in our lives – our relationships with the people we love.

Available at Amazon: The Four Things That Matter Most

I know a lot of people who can’t stand being alone. When they find out they are in a bad relationship, they get out and jump on another bad relationship. Sometimes I even notice the relationship is bound to fail even before these people start.

But why it happens to all these people? Simply because they put a lot of their needs dependent on the other person, sometimes even in recently started relationships. Without emotional support, each and every relationship fails.

Relationships should not be the major purpose of life, but something that agreggates value to life. Of course you should enjoy it, but the major purpose of life should be you. Be the first on anything.

Love yourself, enjoy yourself, make plans for you and live your life for you. When you do it, you will be able to have better and healthier relationships, with no need and no place for posession or jealousy.

Miracles are your responsibility!  What does that mean? Simple…You have a responsibility to create miracles in your own life.  The responsibility lies on your shoulders. You can’t blame anyone else, and you can’t look outside of yourself for someone else to create the miracles for you.  In this article, I’m going to break down the word “Miracle”, because each of you have a responsibility.  As you know, my Why is to impact others and change the world one heart at a time.  As you read this today, my goal is for you to take responsibility and realize that you have the innate ability to create miracles. So let’s get started!

The letter “M” means Momentum, which is created by you.  You must create Momentum in your life for yourself, for your Why, for your family, for your success, for your finances, for your health…YOU create Momentum!  No one else will do it for you.  You aren’t a surfer waiting for the next wave to come in.  You and only you must create your own Momentum to drive you toward creating your Miracle!

The letter “I” stands for Incentive.  You must have something inciting you to action…your ultimate “Why”.  Why are you doing what you are doing?  Why do you want to begin that business?  An Incentive builds the foundation that keeps you focused on your Miracle.  No doubt about it!  But again, it is your responsibility to determine what your incentive is and how it will drive you toward your Miracle.

The letter “R” stands for Revelation.  As you read this today, get a Revelation!  It’s your responsibility…no one else’s.  It doesn’t matter who you are, where you came from, how much money you have…get a Revelation. YOU can and will create Miracles!

The letter “A” stands for Action.  I know you’ve heard this before, but read this today, print it out and decide that you are going to take Action to create Miracles.  Once again, no one will do it for you! Take the Action that you know that you need to take to create your Miracle.

The letter “C” stands for Commitment.  Finally…once and for all…dive right into it…get Committed to your Miracle!  It’s your responsibility.  Inside you is a reason for why you are here…your Miracle…so Commit to it.  Go for it!

The letter “L” stands for Love.  You must Love what you do.  You must Love the Miracle that you are focused on creating.  If your Miracle is all about money…you will fail!  Your Miracle cannot be based on money.  Your Miracle must be based on what you can do to impact the world, which will produce everlasting results. You will produce true Miracles!  Don’t let anyone else tell you what you must do for money.  Love what you do and create your own Miracles.

The letter “E” stands for Energy.  Your gonna need Energy to create your Miracle.  There’s no such thing as it “falling in your lap”, “luck” or “winning the lotto” in a success mindset.  It takes hard work! You need the Energy to take those daily action steps to create your Miracle.  Again, it is your responsibility to maintain your Energy to create your Miracle.  Miracle…It’s your responsibility.

As I say,

You must be absolutely clear about your goal and be relentless in your pursuit of Your “WHY!”

You will find dozens of articles on how to live a life happily. However, the fact is happiness resides in you. You can’t make your life better by following some rules or following the guidelines.  Life is all about the inner happiness that you can feel by doing the things which excite you, by doing that makes you happy, by doing the things which can give you the freedom of joy and love.

To feel all these things you should first prepare yourself.  And, here are the few steps by which you can prepare yourself to get the happiness which is hidden inside you.

Take a Morning Walk

Early morning is the most beautiful part of the day. It is the time when most of nature’s creations wake up. The birds begin to chirp, the flowers open up to the rays of sun. The breeze is cool and soothing. There is quite everywhere. There is no noise of traffic. The grass is still wet with the early morning dew.

A morning walk gives a person a positive frame of home and office. It is also the only method of contemplating with oneself. A morning walk is the opportunity to regain the health and peace of mind. It will help you to be energized all day long and allow you to feel the freshness.

Self Love

First and the foremost way for achieving a happy life is, self love. Self love is not something, which can be realized by some other person. You have to feel it and realize it.  What other people thinks about you is none of your business. There are many ideas by which you can gain self love in you. Be kind to yourself, Respect yourself, Spend time with loving people, and think positive.

Excitement

Do the things you are passionate about, listen to music, travel to any place or learn new things. If you will lose the excitement in your life then, you are never going to attain the heights of happiness. Excitement is must in many ways. Every time you feel dull from inside than your body will also get dull, Emotions are the only way our body expresses itself.